Simplicity

I love to sit in the stillness of the morning and listen to the world wake up. Gently, at first it moves so slow, and gradually, as the day brightens the world moves by we fall into the daily grind of things. But mornings are a time to sit in solace, to contemplate, to think about the wonderful blessings that we are graced with.

For me it is a time to think about everything. Things I want to do, how i want to decorate the house or my garden. Plan out my day, or to be grateful for the wonderful life that I have. Sometimes it is a time when I feel most alone, sometimes I feel most alive in the morning. My emotions, unencumbered by the lightening quick speed of the day, are laid out, bare, raw, clearer for me to see and feel.

A cup of coffee , the dogs fed, lunch made ready for the day, I like to sit on the couch in the dawn darkness, Abbie, Max and Zack all by my side, or, as more often then not, Abbie and Zack are wrestling and playing, until Zack poops out, worn down by Abbie's exuberance (and her ability to always best him).

Today, Saturday, I woke up later than during the work week. I sit at my desk and listen to the birds as they drown out the sound of a far distant airplane; their song a graceful awakening to the day. Nicole spent the night last night and sleeps on the couch. The dogs, fed, played out, all sleep around her on the back of the couch.

Simplicity at it's best.

It's a Girl

Kaitie just found out that she is having a baby girl....Marley Jane (should I actually put her name down...will Kaitie change her mind)...lol...but she is healthy, Kaitie and her boyfriend are elated. Even though they are in my opinion much too young to do this, they are incredibly happy and look forward to her birth. I can ask nothing more than that they have their health, love, happiness, and a job.

I'm really going to be a grandma....LOL... I think I should start looking for a 50cc motorcycle and some pink plastic for my gd; after all, someone has to teach her how to ride a dirtbike.

Hugs.

June Card Kit - SNSS

It's kit reveal time over at Scrap N Supply Shack. Here's what I did witht the card kit.

Sooooooo....how do you get the kit? Go here....check out the board and chat some, then order the kit and get scrappy.

Hugs.

lessons

i am learning,
recognizing,
what held me to you;
what it was that
bonded me so
close that I held onto
the hurt that is you.

Anger and regret
have been
constant companions,
and in this way,
i take you with me
wherever i go,
harbored deep within
the inbetween spaces of painful past,
unable to move forward into possibilities.

my soul stretches anew with this lesson;
yearns new direction; grows upward ,
a ripened vine towards the sun;
and i leave you behind at last.
recuse myself;
no longer judge your rights or wrongs.
i leave your opinions to you alone;
not needing your approval,
not needing to be right to your wrong.

MIA

I know I haven't been around anywhere lately. I have been very busy at work, and I am making some pretty big life changes that are taking up my time and keeping me from blogging, scrapping, etc. But I will get back here eventually. Hugs

Reveal!

Well, it's reveal day over at Scrap N Shack Supply. Sorry I am so late getting posted. My camera was in the shop, the scanner at work wasn't working, then when I get my camera back today, blogger or the internet or something isn't working right and Im about ready to throw my computer...lol.... Anywho here's my take:

This is a picture from several months ago of Allison S. dd in her Halloween Costume. I just love how enchanting this picture is.




the quote reads: "and forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the wind longs to play with your hair. " Love that quote.

This adorable and perfectly serene picture is of Heather's little girl Chloe. This picture just touches me. How pretty, how perfect how sweet is a child. Oh I just want to kiss those little cheeks and beautiful hands.

I've had this pic of Heather for a while and thought it would go good with the kit.


Great shot of her. She is just so sweet.

And this little Monster is Allison's dog Puddles. Apparently, she has taken charge of everything, just like my Abbie. She is the Queen of Everything.

This has been a challenging week. Lots going on, and today the bomb was dropped. Every office across the country of where I work laid people off today. It was a well thought out plan, good severance packages and other stuff...and sadder than sad. My best friend was laid off and it just broke her heart. She loves working there, we are, the people that work there, a very close knit group. Two other people got laid off today too. I swear, as sad and hard as it was for me to know my best friend lost her job, I was just that much more grateful for mine.

Two of the individuals that were laid off will have a direct impact on my job, meaning I will have to assume some of those responsibilities....not something I wanted to hear, considering I have so much work as it is. But it will have to be done. All there is to it.

Anyway...I know it isn't much of a post...this day has been challenging, heartbreaking and nerve wracking, so I'm gonna go sit and eat; and chill in front of the tv. Later on, I think I will take a hot bath, go to bed early, and thank God with all of my heart that I still have a job.

Love you all!

Surprises

I am grateful for these things today;

Three little furbabies so happy to see me when I come home from work. I gave them a treat, as I always do, let them out in the backyard, as always....I accidentally left the door open and a few minutes after going outside, Max ran in and did his crazy little 'chase me' move, and I did. Abbie came in jumping all over me and kissing me. Zack, turned his circus circles around until I chased him through the house. How wonderful it is to be loved.

For the first time in almost a year, I contacted my ex. I needed to say I forgive you. I did. It felt good, even if I know he laughed when he got the message. But it was good to finally feel that freedom, to know that release. After all the lies and cheating, the financial ruin. the emotional destruction, the betrayal that he did, the hurt......it felt good to release that, and to forgive.

Feeling like I can finally sleeep tonight. Something that has eluded me the last several nights. I feel peaceful.

Making a decision that regardless of what the outcome with Shawna, that I did the right thing.
There was a horrible fight on Saturday night with her boyfriend. I do not like him and he is so muchl like my ex husband, arrogant, judgemental...no manners, no couth. He has always been irritating to me. In a bad mood he decided to antagonize me and goad me ( in my own home) by saying hateful and mean things about my life with my ex husband. It turned into a very nasty fight. I kicked him out of my house...he wouldn't leave, he continued to verbally attack me and I had to call the copos to come and remove him from my house. Even after callinjg 911 he still continued to verbally attack me and antagonize. He pushed every single button about my ex husband that hurt like hell and then he LAUGHED at me. How petty. and how petty of me to fall for his graceless bullying. I ended up literally taking a punch at him. I felt horrid and guilty the next day...but I am grateful for this. This has been a terrible problem in my life for many months, almost a year now. My daughter is holding me hostage with it, and she, honestly, has always been manipulative with me. But I made the decidsion that even if it cost me my relationship with her, I would not back down and allow him to be a part of my life. She has manipulated me for the last several months with, if I don't allow her bf to practically live with me, she won't be around. She has shoved him down my throat, and I have felt trapped, enclosed in a very small space...used, by my own daughter. She sided with him, even though she heard the whole thing. I didn't have a right to tell him to leave according to him. . Even when he told me I was worthless, she still said I didn't have the right. He has damaged my growth and personal space over the last few months and I know that if I continue to allow him in any part of my life, it will hinder my growth and healing. I deserve to heal...I deserve to grow...EVERYBODY BACK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE TO DO IT. Regardless of whatever manipulative moves my daughter may have in store for me, I know that he has damaged my progress and healing and he cannot be allowed in my house any longer. What decent human being on the face of this earth would degrade, dishonor and demean a person in their own house and then, when told to leave, refuse to do so. The arrogance is nauseating. He is not allowed in my house, and I will not speak to him. This will cost me dearly, my relationship with my daughter, but I am grateful that I was strong enough to make that decision and to realize how manipulative she has been with me.

I am grateful tonight for Feeling tired, I had a productive day at work and home.

I am so grateful knowing my little furbabies, regardless of all of my horrible faults, love me. AsI write this, Abbie lays under the covers waiting for me; Zack sits by my side on the floor waiting for me to finally call it a night. Max watches me from the bed...hurry mom, I'm sleepy but I cannot sleep until you are close.

Thank you...for this day.

For these wonderful blessings...I am so grateful today.